Pretty sure some of you are hanging out for this one 😀

If you’re not playing along in the FB group, I asked people to submit questions for Ewan to answer. Next time I will plan it better and get newsletter people involved, I promise, but this was a bit of a spur of the moment thing.

Now, Ewan is a stubborn little shit (affectionate) and he has no incentive to answer honestly, coherently, or politely. Please don’t take it personally if he does not give you a genuine answer or any answer at all.

Also, I held some of the questions back because answering them would be a spoiler, or because they related to something else I have coming up shortly. And there were a couple of questions about politics/world events that Ewan can’t possibly answer because he exists in a separate timeline where a bunch of things like Brexit never happened.

Enjoy!

INTERVIEW WITH A BRAT

Q: Do you have any siblings?

Ewan: Not full ones.

Q: Why do you wear ill-fitted suits?

Ewan: You try finding a good fit at the charity shop.

Q: Would you ever want to top Channon?

Ewan: NO

Q: Thoughts about Scotland going for self-rule (yea or nay)?

Ewan: Aye.

Q: You like to make Nate pay for lunch, why not let him buy you a suit?

Ewan: What, and have him dress me up like a Ken doll? No thanks.

Q: When is the last time you’ve visited home?

Ewan: Never.

Q: How do you pronounce your name?

Ewan: YOU-uhn, if you want me to like you. EH-wan, if you don’t. Eugene, if you’re not paying fucking attention.

Q: What’s Tig’s full name?

Ewan: James Tigerius Kirk?

Q: What would your ideal session with Nate look like?

Ewan: Brain goes mush. After that, who cares?

Q: Will you ever tell Nate (and us) the full story about Gary?

Ewan: No.

Q: What’s your favorite type of tea, and tell me the perfect way to prepare it.

Ewan: Earl Grey, hot.

Ewan: …

Ewan: …fine. Boil a kettle—electric, no time to fuck around with gas stoves. Water at 100 degrees CELSIUS. Get your teapot an put some of your boiled water in it to swish around. Empty it. Put your tea leaves in the pot, one teaspoon per cup and one for the pot. Boil the kettle again. Pour your water in. Wait five minutes or four if you’re weak as piss. Pour it all into cups. Don’t fool yourself that you can let it steep for a second round, it’ll be rank as. Milk, no sugar, no fucking lemon, honey if you’re sick. Like, you know. Normal people.

Ewan: AND MILK LAST! How are you gonna get the ratio right if you put the milk in the cup first? Christ on a cross, am I measuring milk here? Do I have to get a tablespoon? NO!  Milk last, you know what colour it’s supposed to be, or get a fucking pantone swatch.

Q: Does your family know about Gary?

Ewan: Christ no.

Q: Was Gary…

Ewan: I DON’T WANNA TALK ABOUT GARY!

Q: Does your family know about your kinky life style?

Ewan: Oh, aye. I get all leathered up and head to me ma’s every Saint Sebastian’s day. Took granddad to the Folsom Street Fair last year to see the puppies. It were grand. Definitely happened.

Q: Have you always been in the pain kink?

Ewan: Dunno. Maybe.

Q: What is your ideal scene with Channon?

Ewan: *points at What if…Wishful Thinking*

Q: What is your ultimate wish scene?

Ewan: *points at Brute Force* But, like, harder.

Q: Where do you see yourself in five years time?

Ewan: Tied to a radiator in Nate’s basement. Naked. Are we done?

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NOTE: ‘Eugene’ is something that Ewan McGregor said people call him sometimes, which I found baffling.

Feature image: Original Photo by Pixabay from Pexels