What do we have today! Why, just a little tease for a thing that probably won’t ever really exist (tantalising much?)

Here we go, door number two…

I keep wanting to write Jack and Nate’s college adventures, but 1) I don’t know anything about US colleges in the 90s/00s and 2) it’s rather angsty all round. But I keep coming back to it, and so here you go, here’s a snippet from the Unfinished Secret Prequel.

Context: Jack still thinks he’s straight, and has just walked into the room he shares with Nate, to find Nate making out on his (Nate’s) bed.

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From Jack and Nate’s Secret Prequel

Nate’s head came up, and Jack realised two things. One: the person Nate was kissing was not a girl but a young man. Two: that man looked strikingly like Jack.

He blinked, and the resemblance vanished. Sure, the guy had dark hair and high, olive cheekbones. But his eyes were black, his nose broad and soft, and his mouth too thin.

And then Jack realised a third thing: he knew this guy.

“Hey,” Nate said easily. He sounded a little stoned, his eyes shot with red that made his irises stand out all the more blue. His mouth was red too, kissed that way by the guy Jack recognised from the computer lab, whose name was … was it Craig?

Nate’s hand ran along the outside of Craig’s thigh, and Jack saw that Craig’s jeans were unbuttoned, exposing the blue and white fabric of his boxers. Nate’s hand had been in there, Jack was almost sure.

He forced himself to look up and found that Craig was frowning. Jack realised he was just standing there, staring at them, and he shook himself.

“Hey,” he said. “I’m just gonna, uh.” He jerked into motion, lunging for his wallet, and backed out of the room.

“Christ, don’t run away,” Nate muttered as the door closed. For a split second, Jack wanted  to open it and explain himself but what was the point? He was running away. Running away from Nate and the realisation that Nate was… what? High? Making out on his bed? With a guy?

Was Nate gay?

The question lodged in his throat, choking him. He didn’t want to know. He couldn’t know something like that and not…not what? Do something about it? What the fuck could he possibly do?

Shamefully, he ran. He’d never run from anything before, and the knowledge that he was running throbbed in him mercilessly.

He woke up hungover on a sofa, sticky and aching, three missed calls and a passive aggressive text from Jessica waiting for him.

whoevr she is i hope shes worth it, Jessica had written and Jack didn’t know who he was more disgusted with, her or himself.

sry, he texted. stayed @ Kennys. cu L8r

He felt like hell. He had to go back to the room. This time he knocked, and when there was no answer he breathed out, relieved, and let himself in.

Maybe he hadn’t knocked loud enough because Nate was there, in bed, alone. For a moment Jack just stood in the doorway, silent and motionless.

He had always been aware of other guys. He’d known there was something sinister in this awareness, so he never let himself look. But now, with Nate stretched out shirtless and golden in the sun, Jack felt it come over him.

Nate was asleep. It was safe to look. He let himself see the breadth of Nate’s chest, the soft hair nestled in the pit of one arm bent up over his head. His hips cut a sharp v down to the hem of his shorts, his navel peeking out from a shroud of golden hair, and Jack felt his throat close up with something nameless.

He ached. He turned away.

It was worse to know that Nate had laid that chest against a man’s, had touched him with intent. Had probably had his mouth in places Jack refused to think about. An unbidden vision played in his mind of Nate and Craig naked together, of Nate’s mouth on Craig’s neck, on his chest. Of Craig’s mouth on Nate’s belly, tonguing his navel. Of Nate’s cock. Of Craig’s hand around it, his mouth covering the tip and Nate’s back arching. The head of Nate’s cock between Craig’s lips. Between Jack’s lips. Oh God…

“Hey,” Nate said, his voice soft and sleepy. “You came back.”

Jack shuddered, unable to look at him. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

Jack risked a glance and it was awful. Nate had rolled onto his side, watching Jack over the rise of his pillow. It cast morning sunlight over his cheek, gilding his shoulder and arm. Every muscle seemed cut out of light, and Jack’s chest throbbed painfully.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“You freaked out, huh.”

“I didn’t freak out.”

“You looked like you’d swallowed a bug.”

“I was just surprised.”

“So surprised you spent the night…where, exactly?”

What do you care? “Kenny’s. I figured you’d appreciate some privacy.”

Nate snorted. “I kicked him out after you left. Wasn’t feeling it.”

Jack turned around, leaning up against the desk and just…looking at Nate looking back at him. “Why?”

“Oh, I dunno. Maybe I was distracted by you freaking out.”

“I didn’t freak out!” Jack clenched his hands into fists, trying to channel the tension into something that wasn’t his chest. “I really don’t care if you—”

“If I what?”

What could he say? None of the words he had for this were sufficient. He settled for something insufficient. “If you hook up with guys,” he said, knowing this was a lie but unable to explain to Nate why.

Nate smirked. “Good. Because I’m not about to stop.”

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(That’s all for today! See you tomorow 🙂

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